Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Punish Who?

Here I am awake again when I would prefer to be sleeping. I suppose 16 years of waking to feed babies creates this sleep pattern! So as I'm trying to empty my mind of worries to go back to sleep, here's one I'm thinking through....

Why do we punish children who can't drive for being late?

The public schools do this. I never really liked it as I would watch little kids rush into the classroom only to be reduced to tears at another tardy slip. I wondered if there might be a better way to make parents on time rather than punishing 5 year olds.

I'm still wondering this today and curious why the church copies that philosophy. For starters, I like to be on time. It's no longer my god, but I still like to be on time and was raised that it honors and respects  those who have set those boundaries. I understand the need for time and the chaos that might occur in schools and churches without time boundaries imposed.

I also have no problem disciplining children for foolish behavior. So, kids who are late due to their foolish choices (wandering around the campus, etc.) may need that thrust of pressure to ensure their timeliness. It's a way of learning that "life isn't all about me." 

So here we are after two days of VBS and my kids have had to drop push ups.... none of them legally capable of driving yet. Here's a mother, up at 3:30 am this morning, who some how can't get her kids there before the 8am start time. 8am is actually too late, as I found out this morning. 

Yes, we live further out in the country than most. No problem, Monday we loaded the car at 7:30am - plenty of time! Unless you get have a flat tire. After frustrations (mine included) we did engage in discourse on God's sovereignty over all things. Obviously, this includes push ups.

I keep thinking back to the question posed, why do we punish children who can't drive for being late?

To develop "insane mommies" who run around yelling at their kids to get their stuff and get in the car so they aren't late? To create "guilty moms" who continually feel discouraged as they succumb to their failure as a mother? To create "speeding mothers" flying down the freeway while putting on make-up, trying to change a diaper, while talking to their hubby? 

I'm a fairly organized mom. Most evenings clothes are laid out for the younger children, shoes are paired and set out, cereal is on the counter for the kitchen crew, diaper bags/backpacks are checked and ready by the door, some items have actually been already preloaded into the car. . . BUT no matter how organized I am or how early I arise life happens. 

Does the youth pastor really want the baby to sit in her excrement for 20 minutes? Sorry, kids, I need to change this one so it's push-ups for you! I know, the two year old needs some cuddle time this morning before being thrusted on a crazy schedule for the day due to large family logistics. . .yep, you might be late. And so life goes. . .

This is where God's sovereignty intersects with daily life and sometimes it hurts.




1 comment:

Robin said...

I am a teacher and I do not make a big deal about tardiness because I was the child who was late all the time and had no control over it because my mom just ran late by nature (too many snooze button pushes!). So I can empathize with a child who is late. I work with teachers who criticize-- even publicly humiliate--students who are tardy and it makes me cringe. Punctuality is important, but when it is a child who is relying on the parent I also don't think it is fair to punish the child. A local charter school charges parents $1 per minute past a certain time for after school pick up. I am not sure that is the answer, but at least it is on the parent and not on the child.