Paul has been preaching through James and we've spent the last few weeks on James Chapter 2. While this section is dealing primarily with the partiality and favoritism shown to those of different social standings, Paul challenged us (me) greatly on the idea of favoritism shown in social capital, as well. Ouch. He briefly eluded to favoritism displayed in families and the challenges that creates. . .here's something on that:
Playing Favorites
There is a question that I am often posed, but which still takes me a little by surprise, “do you have a favorite?” For years I have answered with my self-perceived humorous wit, “absolutely – the baby!” The joke being, of course, that in our home there is always a baby and a new one on the way within a year of the last one! So, for the past 11 years there has always been a favorite and everyone has been the favorite! As I type this out I now realize that what made perfect sense in my mind is probably why people left with a puzzled look. (But, no joke, the “baby” frequently is the parental favorite.) I am always thankful for this question, however, because it causes me to examine myself, my actions and how my children perceive my love and attention. I find myself asking them “do you think Mommy or Daddy has a ‘favorite’?” While some of you may find this reaction odd, it is very real to me. You see, the sin of favoritism has been a generational sin in my extended family – at least three generations strong and I have vowed (with utter dependency upon the Holy Spirit) to break sins’ hold in my own family. Thus, this question regarding “favorites” is welcomed. I am grateful that God’s power through Christ has allowed our family to be free, thus far, of this heinous, but “respectable” sin. While subtle, this sin wrecks havoc in homes and families (Just check out Abraham, Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob, Joseph, etc. in Genesis!). I have lived as one “not favored” and I have been married to one who has received “unwanted favor” and it is ugly all the way around. Sin is never pretty. The consequences are always painful. Hurt is real. But, His grace is greater. And it is by that grace, through that grace, and in that grace that He grants me the ability to love each of my seven precious children individually and look each one in their eyes and express my love and know that they know that they are loved and enjoyed. Each one uniquely created and sculpted by the hands of God Most High. While this sin may not have a foothold my life, I do ask my children as their perceptions are real and valuable. I suppose I hope they will all respond as Hannah did the other day when I asked, “Hannah, who do you think is Mommy’s favorite?” Without hesitation, she answered “me.” Yes, my loves, you are all my favorites!! (We have a sweet children’s book on our shelf entitled: You are all my Favorites by Sam McBratney, I recommend cuddling up and reading it together. . .) My children are indeed ALL precious gifts to be enjoyed from a most gracious Father.
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