Full Quiver Family....

About ten years ago I wrote Elizabeth Elliot and asked her counsel on family planning.  The following is what she wrote to me and it impacted my life.  Enjoy!

Contraception
by Elizabeth Elliot

You ask, "Should I have more children?  Is birth control in keeping with God's scheme of things or just an invention of the 1950's?  Am I being irresponsible by not using contraceptive means, or am I distrusting of the Lord's grace by considering it?"

These are hard questions, and one with which many who are very serious about doing the will of God struggle.  For many years after childbearing was no longer a physical possibility for me, I too have pondered and prayed over the question in order to help earnest Christian women like you.

Throughout most of human history the modern mechanical and chemical means of preventing conception were not available, and women more or less received what God gave them, willingly or unwillingly.  Now that technology offers so many choices, what does a Christian do?  I do not have a final answer, much less a directly inspired word, but I suggest the following for your prayerful consideration:

1.  The first commandment given to Adam and Eve was to be fruitful and multiply.  It is clear that marriage and fruitbearing go together in God's mind.

2.  Married couples (within childbearing age, of course) must hear God's call to parenthood.  They may not opt out of this responsibility - to Him, to family, to society, and to each other.

3.  To refuse to transmit life is to act against the nature of both man and woman as God designed it, and to ignore His plan.

4.  In the marvelous physiological mechanisms of the reproductive system God included a means of contraception which some call Natural  Family Planning.  This differs significantly from the mechanical and chemical means of intervention in that, first of all, it requires the self-control, sacrifice, and cooperation of both the man and the woman.  Thus, instead of being the arbiters of the sources of life, they are thte ministers or servants of the God-given means.  To me this is a tremendously important distinction - for the Christian couple then, rather than impeding upon the natural process, is making legitimate use of a divine gift.  When Nehemiah was building the wall it is said, "We prayed to our God and we set a watch."  Selah.

You are right that children, according to the Bible, are a blessing and a reward from the Lord.  Happy is the man who has his quiver full.  It happens, of course, that Christian couples often make what seems to be a reasonable and responsible decision to "space" their children, or limit the number by using the natural method.  Perhaps this is legitimate in some cases, and of course only you and the Lord know the particular circumstances you face, and just how open you are to what He sends.  What does make me sad is a catergorical "Two kids - no more!" attitude.  If pregnancy occurs inspite of cautionary measures, wouldn't it seem then that the child is in a very special sense a gift from God?  Ought not any married man or woman to remain open to the "creative possibility," regardless of feelings, convenience, economics, or anything else?  I think so.  I am convinced, having watched my daughter's family swell beyond what I  had thought "enough," that parents who have large families are doing their children a big favor.  In a large family it is not possible to be totally selfish.  Children are blessed in having to learn self-denial, discipline, kindness, sacrifice.  I have certainly had my eyes opened to the blessing of a large family.  Of course parents are tempted to feel that they cannot "handle" any more - physically, emotionally, financially.  It is well to remember that God never assigns a task for which He will not provide grace, wisdom, and strength according to each day's needs.

Jesus said, "Whoever receives a child in my name, receives me."

In the final analysis, it is a matter of TRUST and OBEY.  We have a faithful and loving Heavenly Father who will surely show you what is best.  (But since you asked me also - I'd say "Have another one!")

Hope this will be helpful,
Elizabeth Elliot 


To be continued. . .