Night Watches

I find myself awake and alert and it's unwanted. I want to be sleeping. My kids are sleeping. My husband is sleeping. He's sleeping so soundly that I doubt he'll even remember my attempts to awaken him at 3am to tell him I can't sleep. What a wife. If he were to do that to me I'd become like that badger in the old SuperBowl car commercial. Ferocious! But there I was, lying awake for an hour. Wanting to sleep and wondering why I am plagued with the family gene of my mom (she never sleeps!) and vaguely recalling studying this in abnormal psych. After diagnosing myself, again, I decided to give in and get up.

The psalmist refers to this time as the "night watches." Over the years it has become a sweet time of fellowship with Christ. I'm saddened that I often would rather be sleeping and share that time at another hour. . . but God is good and does good. The Bible reassures the insomniac that He brings sleep to those He loves, so I know sleep will come. For now I will be content to pray and seek Him in the wee hours of morning. The temptations will come later, when irritability and fatigue come knocking. But His grace will prove sufficient then, too.